Large Birds, Spiders And Momtwo And A Half Men ... Direct

She swept into the living room, smelling of Chanel No. 5 and cold ambition. She didn't even look at her sons. She walked straight to the glass door, locked eyes with the giant bird, and tapped on the pane with a manicured nail.

“There,” Evelyn said, turning around with a sharp smile. “Even Mother Nature knows better than to overstay her welcome in my presence.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Charlie muttered, pouring a double. “I guess there’s always a bigger predator in the room.” Large Birds, Spiders and MomTwo and a Half Men ...

The condor immediately took flight in terror. The spider curled into a ball and rolled off the deck into the sand.

Charlie Harper’s beachfront Malibu deck was usually reserved for expensive scotch and questionable decisions, but today it looked like a deleted scene from a low-budget horror movie. She swept into the living room, smelling of Chanel No

The doorbell rang. It wasn’t the date. It was .

“I don’t care if you named them 'The Pointer Sisters,' get them off my deck! I have a date coming over in twenty minutes and ‘Death by Nature’ isn't the vibe I’m going for.” She walked straight to the glass door, locked

“Alan, I’m telling you, it’s staring at me,” Charlie hissed, peering through the glass sliding door.